Finding Yourself Again

I’ll be the first to say that as a mom at 19, it was so easy to lose myself... I was a postpartum hot mess to say the least.

Let’s talk about some small + some big ways we can do some things for us mamas! Take a nice bath, go on a walk, or just do something that is just for you :)

Learn to care for yourself just as much as you do for other people!! You’ve got this!

Now I wanna tell you a little bit about my story. My childhood wasn’t all skittles and rainbows, but if there’s one thing I learned by being raised by a single mom, it was how to work hard and what I didn’t want.

Now I got pregnant at 19 and married the man I still call my husband today, but believe me, that route came with its own set of challenges. We were young, dumb, and thought we knew what love was at the time. 

Dustin was constantly on the mountain and I buried myself into being a new mom. To say our marriage was rocky may have been an understatement. Neither one of us knew what we were doing and neither one of us was happy. 

He knew why this happened at this point in our lives and I had yet to learn why my life needed to play out this way. 

We had both been born into your traditional Utah Mormon family, but had very different experiences. I chose to go to church and he had to go! 

Now I’m not saying either way is right or wrong, but it had him leaning on the wild side of life during our high school years and I was the naive goody, goody as I’ve been told by him on multiple occasions

Needless to say, I thought my life was over, temple marriage over and all the things that you set your sights on when growing up in the religion we were in 

Marriage wasn’t getting any better, but if there was one thing that was strong enough to keep me there long enough before pulling my head out of my rear, it was my why. 

My mom had now been divorced twice and I knew I wanted a good guy + good dad in my kids lives and Dustin was both of those.

I had friends with great parents in which I spent many days and nights at their houses. Life at home wasn’t always sunshine and skittles so having that escape was what kept me sane through middle and high school. 

I knew that the marriages modeled in these homes was something I wanted in mine and come hell or high water, you better believe I was gonna get there! 

I was stubborn, I mean, I’m sure my mom will vouch for that! I had made up my mind that I didn’t want to get a divorce if I was married to a man that was a good guy and knew that we could make it work.  

Now if you listened back in episode ..... on marriage advice I should have taken... this didn’t take until we hit seven years, but it didn’t truly get great until about ten shortly after I started on my personal development journey.

I’ll be the first to say that as a mom at 19, it was so easy to lose myself. I bought everything for kenna and gave up on myself. I was used to eating cold food and making sure her needs were always met first. To this day cold food doesn’t bother me because I had done it for so long, but I kept going deeper into the rabbit hole. 

I was constantly giving everything to taking care of Dustin and the kids, assuring anyone that offered help I was fine and great because I didn’t want to put them out of their way, and then I’d cry wishing someone would just show up and take them to go play. 

I was a postpartum hot mess to say the least. I was constantly with the kids, handling everything at home, making sure all the bills got paid, and working 24 hours each week. 

Listen in to find out how I found myself again: